The Lego Movie: Everything IS Awesome!

There are perfect movies. Not by any technical measurable of course; you can punch holes in anything if you look hard enough. But there are films that flawlessly execute their purpose. Raiders of the Lost Ark is a perfect summer blockbuster. Adventureland is a perfect coming-of-age love story. Se7en, while not exactly a horror movie, seeks to horrify, and does so with unmatched effectiveness. The Lego Movie is a visually dazzling, razor scripted, sweetly endearing movie ideal for kids, parents, couples, single twenty and thirty-something dudes and ladies, old folks with bitterness in their hearts, and people on drugs. The Lego Movie is perfect.

I would like all these toys immediately.

It's difficult to single out any single element of The Lego Movie that deserves praise above the rest. Calling it the best looking movie of the last year might not be fair since Gravity happened back in October, but it certainly gives Sandra Bullock in space a run for her money. The Lego Movie just doesn't look like anything you've seen before, and there's a lot to be said for that in an era when digital effects can make anything can happen on screen. The film is 100 minutes long, and everything that occurs within those 100 minutes manages to straddle the line between adorable and badass. If The Lego Movie were an animal, it would be a lab puppy sporting an eye-patch and a machine gun. 

The casting is just as strong. Chris Pratt has honed his dim-bulb nice guy shtick through six seasons of Andy Dwyering on Parks and Recreation, and he lends as much beautifully to Emmet Brickowski, The Lego Movie's nobody-turned-hero. The list of support players--Will Arnett as a douchey Batman, Elizabeth Banks as lady lead Wildstyle, Will Ferrell as villain President Business--is long and accomplished (that's what she said!...sorry). Chemistry among animated characters is not often a tangible thing. It is here.

AND THE SCRIPT. God, I love the script so much. It's a summer blockbuster hero's journey that's GOT JOKES. So many jokes. The Lego Movie is really, really funny. So funny that most reviewers are calling it a spoof on the blockbuster genre, but I don't read it that way. You could strip out the humor and the story would still be good enough to stand on it's own. This is not a parody of a blockbuster, it's a blockbuster disguised as a parody.

I'm out of good things to say. Watch it. Or at least watch this. This song is haunting my fucking dreams, and I do not care. Everything is awesome, guys.

Directed By: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

Starring: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett, Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Alison Brie (who I am not nearly as married to as I'd like to be), Jonah Hill, Charlie Day, Nick Offerman, Channing Tatum, LIAM NEESONS, Shaq, Cobie Smulders

You Should See it if: I think I've been clear on this point.

Robocop

Among the many benefits of the all freedom lifestyle in which I'm currently indulging is lots of movie viewing time. Last weekend I saw (and failed to review, because hobo) I, Frankenstein, which is not not entertaining, but is really, really stupid. In short, it's demons vs. gargoyles, and has exactly as much gravity as you'd expect from such a film. This weekend was much better! Let's start with a police action.

Robocop

I should preface this with an embarrassing admission: I have not seen the original Robocop. The new one was my introduction to the franchise, and it left me wanting. Don't get me wrong, you could do a lot worse than Robocop if you're looking for a light weight action movie, but you could also do a better. If a reboot of 80s/90s super-cop cinema is what you seek, I highly recommend Netflixing Dredd before spending money here. Robocop is not the law. Judge Dredd is the law.

Most of you are probably familiar with Robocop's premise (or can infer as much from it's dazzlingly self-explanatory title), but briefly- in the not too distant a future, a good Detroit cop named Alex Murphy is near mortally injured in an assassination attempt by some gangsters who want him to stop interfering with their gangster work. Omnicorp, a robotics company seeking to sway public opinion toward allowing robotic law enforcement entities in the United States (they're already being used in American military efforts abroad), saves his life by turning him into a cyborg in the hopes of giving said public a hero they can root for. It's a lot like Iron Man without Tony Stark inside the robo-suit.

Robocop's biggest weakness is that it just doesn't have enough fun with what should be a really easy premise to have fun with. Humor is sparse, and the shoot-em-up action sequences pack a lot more bullets (a LOT more bullets) than they do actual thrills. The characters are also insufficiently sassy. Director Jose Padilha wants to *say something* about corporate America/American imperialism abroad, and seems to think that the best way to do so is to have supporting characters just as robotic as the movie's titular lead. Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton do solid jobs with their respective roles, but there's just not enough meat in the script for them to really sink their teeth into. Robocop is a movie begging for a Shane Black re-write.  

There's really no area in which the film excels, but the plot is serviceable, and Abbie Cornish is adorable, so I guess that's something. Robocop isn't bad, it just isn't particularly good. You should definitely see The Lego Movie (to be reviewed tomorrow!) instead.

Directed By: Jose Padilha

Starring: Joel Kinnaman, (Swedish as hell) Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish

You Should See it if: You've already seen The Lego Movie and wanna watch some stuff blow up.